Thinking to how much my life has changed within even just a year ~ it's got me in this strange state. I'm not sure what it is....something like growing a set of balls...but woman-ish. Maybe like finding my backbone? But not that extreme.
Realizing what I deserve. That is as close to it as possible.
As a female, I tend to not realize my potential. I tend to settle. That ridiculous nurturing instinct or whatever. And as a female with a troubled past and a few limitations....I tend to not just settle but lay down and die in that fucking rut.
Not anymore. I know exactly what I want, what I need, what I deserve. Not part-time. Not occasionally. Not when it can be. I am ready for someone special.
I have such clarity it scares me!! LOL.
I put on such a front but you know what? I am lonely. I want someone. I want someone to want me....for the long haul. Spring time is full of new beginnings...out with the toxic bullshit, in with MY LIFE.
Fuck Charlie Sheen. He's high on "me".
See ya.
Whatever doesn't kill me
Doesn't make me stronger
But I'm not gonna give up yet
And if these walls should weaken
I'm still strong enough to know
I'm gonna build them up again
~ Finger Eleven, "Whatever Doesn't Kill Me"
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1 comments:
It's good you're a winner, and it's good you know it, Vanessa Sue. The problem is with the anthem you chose for your posting -- Finger Eleven's "Whatever Doesn't Kill Me." It doesn't quite fit.
Your posting is about your renewal, about your starting again, about your overcoming your past, about your "growing a [pair] of balls" in a womanish kind of way. What you write about ISN'T reflected in Finger Eleven's lyrics: "Whatever doesn't kill me/ Doesn't make me stronger."
What you write about IS reflected in the original work, Friedrich Nietzsche's words: "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger."
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